Should Your Aging Parents Move in With You?
Your parents need their independence, so have an in-depth discussion ahead of
time about their desires, activities they’d like to continue doing, and the
type of support services they may need. If they still drive and are active,
they will manage their daily lives themselves. If they have any medical issues,
physical limitations, or cognitive impairment, you may be relied upon to help
with their activities of daily living, transportation, meals, and more.
Inclusion in the community is important, as many seniors stay
home and become depressed from lack of socialization. Introduce them to local
organizations that offer interaction with other like-minded seniors, such as a
community center, senior center, recreational center, park district, fitness
facility, veterans’ group, and your neighbors. They can socialize and build new
friendships while remaining close to home.
Being part of the family also means being included and having
a purpose, such as helping with basic chores around the house if they’re able.
Discuss everyone’s role in the household and agree on household tasks. Sometimes
a power struggle between family members can emerge and create stress. Make sure
you have clear communication regarding responsibilities and expectations.
There is a re-emerging trend of older parents moving in with their adult
children for reasons such as health issues, economic hardship, and loneliness.
If everyone in your household agrees that moving your parents into the family
homestead is a good idea, here are some recommendations from Elderwerks
Educational Services:
- Independence – Treat everyone with dignity and respect. Everyone should contribute to
the good of the family.
- Inclusion – Include everyone in family meals, outings, and conversations.
- Purpose – Everyone has a purpose and can provide support be
it physical, mental, or spiritual. Contributions to the family help give people
purpose.
If you and your spouse are unable to have your parents live with you for a
variety of reasons, be honest with your parents early on. Let them know that
while you love them both dearly, moving into a local senior community might be
better for them where there is a built-in support system, safety, security, and
their own space.